On a pitch near you…

The Whitecaps won a game. Was it the real life or just a fantasy? What was it like at training this week after snapping that winless run? Doug Marshall takes readers on a flight of fancy as to what happened when one of the ‘Caps owners popped in on the Monday after to give his congratulations…

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Marc: Gather round guys. Great result at Nippert. Really nice to get some bounces right for once. It’s hard to understand why we don’t get a few more like that. I think we need more luck, no? Anyway, today we gonna have a treat. Steve Nash has dropped by and wants to join in for our kick around today.

Fredy: That’s terrific. Welcome back Steve!

Steve: Thanks guys. Just back from surfing at Tofino.

Rusty: Hey Steve, we’ve been getting kinda tired out here lately. How about some more troops for the rest of the season?

Steve: Well ya, as always we’ve been keen to spend some of those Alphonso dollars. Marc’s been beating the bushes for a long time together with the scouting department. They’ve been looking high and low.

Marc: Yup, beating those bushes.

Steve: Lucas was starting to show a bit more chemistry with you lads and starting to fit in more so we figured we better move him on while we could. You know, if he dropped off again we may not have found a team to take him. Anyway, Marc and the Department have come across Michaell. He’s available and we’re pretty sure he can help us out.

Rusty: But Steve, we need some warm bodies, and dropping Lucas for Michaell is kinda just like for like. Remember dude, we’re tired. That’s not really adding another player.

Steve: Whoa dudes, you just need to hang tough for now. There is only so much we can do in any one window. You know, the Contract Department can only handle so many new deals at once eh. We’re aiming for someone else at the end of the season. You know, I like to preach patience. Just remember, we’re really focused here on excellence. We know we’re a playoff team. We’re just looking for a place for that to happen.

Lass: Hey Steve, I didn’t know you had a dog. He’s pretty cute!

Steve: Oh yah man, that’s my new terrier. The other owners got him for me. His name is “scout”. I think he’s terrific. He’s kind of like a team dog now, you know. He’s great at finding stuff. Bobby tried to tell me he’s the only scout we have around here. What a kidder that guy is! I think maybe we could form a new Department to help look after him.

Doneil: But Steve, I heard that Bobby was going to get us some more help. What gives?

Steve: Yup, you heard right.

Doneil: A box to box midfielder?

Steve: Nope. He’s got for each of you a VHS tape of the 1979 march to the final and the 1986 World Cup highlights. Inspirational stuff. Great for watching at home. You’ll love it.

Marc: Okay guys, let’s focus now. We got more games coming up soon. Oh, and by the way guys. Credit where credit is due. Super set up for Felipe in Cinci, Rusty. You know we like that Canadian hustle.

Rusty: Thanks Marc, appreciate that. I knew if I took the ball right to the endline my only option was a backpass to Felipe. Worked great. I felt comfortable in that.

Felipe: Ya thanks Rusty. You know how I like to score those goals.

Ali: Hey, did you guys hear that Kei got another hat trick on the weekend?

Marc: Oh yah. Luckily we didn’t keep that guy. All those goals and all that history. Surely that would only go to his head. We’d never hear the end of that. And, that guy was too old anyway.

Andy: Geez, I think that’s 11 goals now for the year.

Marc: Yah, 11 is my unlucky number. Yup, 11, just like the number of place holders here. Hey guys, we should have a good time in Portland on the weekend. Andy, you should feel at home in the Rose City. They got coffee, hipsters, vegan stuff, and we gonna play in front of a full house. We don’t see that too often now. And that crowd noise too! And don’t you guys forget, they got Valeri, Blanco, Fernandez, Ebobisse, Chara….that’s gonna give me a headache. So, we better all collapse inside our box as soon as they get that ball, okay?

Hwang: Oh, we get many practice doing that.

Jon: Oh yah, Marc, do you think I can get back in that midfield now?

Marc: I’ve been thinking a lot about that Jon. Right now I don’t have a clue who best to play in the midfield. But we still got time. Saturday is a long time yet, no? Okay guys, today we gonna work on heading and shooting. Derek and Doneil, I want you guys hoofing ball downfield and we start with Rusty out by centre. Rusty, you head on to Fredy. I want three taller guys on Fredy too okay? Ali, you arrange that at the back okay?

Rusty: But coach, I’m only 5 foot 6.

Marc: Can’t be. Our website says 5 foot 8. You’ll do fine. If we keep doing that, it gonna work one of these times, no?

Rusty: Can we put Fredy in front of me? I think it is better if I head it back towards my goal.

Marc: Yah, that’s okay Rusty. When we finish that, we gonna take some shots on Max. He’s from Cardiac Quebec you know! Get it?

Rusty: Please Marc….

Marc: Okay, we gonna work on that shooting accuracy. Let’s try to place that ball. I want you shooting over the top and wide a lot. That way, Max can work on diving and you guys can work on accuracy.

Felipe: Hey coach, can I do some diving too with Max?

Marc: Sure Felipe, that gonna be good. Now let’s get on that. Let’s all remember to work hard for the fans. You know, this team, we always work for our fans, no? Oh and Felipe, can I have a word…