Timewasting: MLS Team Of The Week # 32 – Coronavirus XI

We’ve always enjoyed doing our fun team of the week feature on AFTN, both on the site and on the radio show. Yes, they’re stupid. Yes, they’re borderline funny depending on what kind of humour you have (my wife is not a fan of puns and their ilk for instance). And I don’t know if anyone else enjoys them, but I enjoy putting them together, they make me laugh, so I don’t care!!

We blatantly nicked the idea from the long running BBC Radio Scotland show “Off The Ball” years ago. It’s worked for them for 25 years, so there must be something in it! And let’s be honest, we could all do with some more light hearted stuff in our lives right now.

I’d actually planned on bringing them back on a more regular basis this season after a long hiatus, and that’s still the plan, so if you hate them, look away now.

For those that don’t know what this section is, we think of a subject for a football team to be based around, then usually fill it with our starting XI of current (or very recent) MLS players with some appropriate name changes, or even better, just as is! Our big difference from the original is that we actually put them in a team with a proper formation and not just a long list of random names.

Your scouting job is to come up with the subs bench, from any player from around the world, and leave your player suggestions in the comments section.

So there’s really only one topic we could have made the Team of the Week for it’s return today, as we bring you a Coronavirus XI”.

Can you add a few more?

Team Name : Sickramento Republic

GK: Infectsean Johnson (NYCFC)

D : Coughy Opare (Colorado Rapids)
D : Raymon Gaddisease (Philadelphia Union)
D : Ben Sweaty (NYCFC)

M : Virussell Teibert (Vancouver Whitecaps)
M : Joe Corona (LA Galaxy)
M : Feverton Luiz (Real Salt Lake)
M : Sebastian Droplletget (LA Galaxy)
M : Covid Milinkovic (Vancouver Whitecaps)

F : Santiago Quarantino (Orlando City)
F : Ricardo Pepidemic (FC Dallas)

Manager : Oscar Pariah (Orlando City) – but will he wash his hands of the whole situation?