Timewasting: Top Ten Excuses For The Whitecaps Loss To TFC

It’s been a while, not only since the Whitecaps lost a home opener but also since we did one of our “Top Ten Lists” here at AFTN.

But I feel we need some Monday mirth and it seemed only fitting that one results in the other after Toronto’s 3-1 win over Vancouver at BC Place on Saturday afternoon.

Both teams were confident going in to the match, only one has a smile on their face now and sadly they’re not wearing blue and white, so we bring you The Top Ten Excuses For The Whitecaps Loss To TFC….

(10) After watching him at Sunderland the Caps didn’t realize Jozy Altidore was a striker

(9) Instead of halftime oranges, Whitecaps players were allowed to try the newly launched BC Place food menu and couldn’t stop eating Vij’s new items

(8) Octavio Rivero’s early miss caused by a clump of dumped earth from earlier Monster Truck event

(7) Kekuta Manneh so used to coming off the bench he didn’t know he had to play another 45 minutes

(6) Pa-Modou Kah incorrectly told that the CBA agreement stood for Clumsily Bring down Altidore

(5) Loss was all in Robbo’s “Seattle plan” – lose opener to TFC, give up two goals to their new DP, go on to win Supporters Shield

(4) With the roof open, Steven Beitashour kept getting disoriented by the sun bouncing off Michael Bradley’s head

(3) Whitecaps players didn’t bother in second half as they kept waiting for the game to be abandoned

(2) Sebastian Giovinco was so small he kept running unnoticed through Kendall Waston’s legs

(1) Sorry, everyone here thought they were still shit