Timewasting: Top Ten Signs That The Lack Of Football Is Starting To Get To You

Timewasting: Top Ten Signs That The Lack Of Football Is Starting To Get To You

It’s only been a week with no football on our screens, but already the signs are there that we’re all starting to crack up a little bit!

It all starts with doing keepie uppies with a toilet roll, but it won’t be long before we’re all explaining catenaccio to the dog, which he won’t like because he already hates cats to begin with.

So with all that in mind, we bring you some Friday Fun, with our Top Ten Signs That The Lack Of Football Is Starting To Get To You.


(10) While standing in line for groceries you spray some shaving foam on the ground to keep the person behind you 10 yards away

(9) Your elderly grandmother falls down the stairs and you yell penalty

(8) You’ve developed an unhealthy crush on Dr Bonnie and want to take her to a game with you when the football does finally return

(7) You’re binge watching Bake Offs so that you can make a special cake for your favourite player to cheer them up

(6) You feel your subbuteo team are talking about you behind your back when you put them back in their box

(5) You’ve become an expert on the Greenlandic Football Championship after watching all the previous years on You Tube*

(4) You get a debatable question wrong in trivial pursuit but you won’t let the game continue until VAR rules on it

(3) You’ve started doing play by play commentary as the starlings squabble over the suet in the bird feeder in your garden

(2) After sex you run around the bedroom with a pillowcase over your head, then dive, arms outstretched onto the bed (or is that just me?)

(1) All that’s left of your football fever is a dry cough

* You actually really should do this, it’s fantastic!

Also check out our old selection of Top Ten Lists from many years back.

Authored by: Michael McColl

There is 1 comment for this article
  1. Michael McColl Author at 10:30

    Just saw this joke doing the rounds among my Facebook friends this morning, so had to add it in….

    You see empty shelves in the supermarket and start chanting “stacked in the morning, you’re getting stacked in the morning”.

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